It has been 5 months since my last post. A lot has happened in that time. I wish I could share it all but I'd rather sit down and tell the story face to face with whoever is interested. The story is no where near over. It is just begun. A new chapter of life. No longer can I sit in the comforts I once lived in. Life is now real and I have decided to start living it the right way. My last blog post had me facing some heavy stuff. Today I am facing those things head on and somehow, I am still able to write this little piece of my mind.
The battle is not over. Im only halfway through yet I am so excited with how far I've been able to come. Surely, it was not alone. I am not glad what has happened, but I am glad that God has opened great opportunities for me to experience Him in amazing ways. I would not trade the past few months for anything. Yes, I would definitely have wanted to do things differently. At this point, it's not about could've/should've/would've. What's happened has happened and whats happening can't go away. I want to face this as a man and do what I need to do.
10 years from now when I and also other people look back on this situation, what will be said? Will I be the epic failure that did nothing and became a failure for the rest of his life? Or rather do I become the person that chose to face what he needed to? Do I let this situation define me or do I let God take full control? These questions have been answered even when I wasn't looking. I really have not understood why these events have happened the way the have. The more I try to figure, the more the Lord tells me to chillax. My prayer is that His Will be done, not mine or anyone else's.
For a long time I sat in great sorrow and depression over my sins. I pretty much sent myself to my own mental grave. With the events that occurred I ended up in a literal and figurative zone of confinement for a long time. Although I am not here to share about the interesting "adventure" that was but rather share of the amazing God that no one will ever be able to comprehend.
If it were up to some people, I should not be typing this note at this moment. I should not be able to walk around freely let alone in this country for that matter. That's what is "supposed" to happen. I'm "supposed" to be gone forever. But am I?
Let's think about this for a second. I believe in a God that does all things in His purpose according to hHis good and perfect will. I was told that as the event unfolded, whatever happens whether good or bad, it would have been for a reason. I am out when I shouldn't be. There is a reason. I can not tell you what that reason is at this moment. I just know that God has a greater purpose in the works. As I long as I trust Him, he says not to worry. Its been working out pretty good :-)
I would like to apologize to those people who wish that I was still locked up. All I want to do is Love on them and help the understand why it is that I am free. It's because the God of all things sent His Son from Heaven to Earth to make the payment for my sins. I shouldn't be locked up. I should be dead. I should be burning in hell for what I have. But then I get to experience a little something called GRACE. It really is an amazing thing. Not to be taken lightly of course. If all of this can be summed up it would into this: God makes all things beautiful, even the bad.
If people have already passed judgement and think that I'm just trying to slide by this situation easily and that I just want to get it over with, then I am sorry that you are mistaken. God Loves you. That's all I can say. And I am reminded that He Loves me too. Oh, how He Loves us all. It is a transforming Love. I am not the person I was three months ago. I have died to my selfish and sinful ways and have become alive to Christ Jesus. (Romans 6:11). The words I write will never come close to being able to show you who I am. I only pray we may get the opportunity to hang out so you can see for yourself!
There is still a long journey to go and I will continue to update the unknown readers every week from now on. I will not and literally cannot contain just how amazing God is and all the great things He is doing in my life. My heart shouts for joy and wants to proclaim His goodness to the world. I hope you continue reading...
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