I Want To Be Cool

Think about that one dude in high school that every girl thought was the greatest guy ever. This guy might have been super attractive, been a football jock, a hardcore partyer, or a combination of all of those things. This guy had all the girls going "oh my gosh he's so cute" and all the nerds saying "I wish we were like him."

When you have gone to Cherry Creek High school, you encounter a bunch of these guys running around, and where ever one of them is, you can spot ten girls going all ooh la la over him. And then his retarded buddies right behind him going "duuuude you ready for that party this weekend?!"

I will honestly say that for the longest time, I have aspired to want to be that guy. I was missing the good looks, and the athletic talent, and the social connections, sooo I did not start out too well haha. Middle school for me was just wake up, go to school, come home, do schoolwork, watch tv, and sleep pretty much everyday of my life. I did not have friends I could "hang out" with on the weekends. Then high school came by, and there were all these new people running around. I had a lot of the older kids in my freshman classes so I heard a lot of talk of "that party of over the weekend" and "who that girl slept with this weekend." What really got me was how much attention all these people were getting. This was definitely where I started to learn of that whole "popularity" concept. This was also the year that MySpace got all popular (then eventually Facebook). I got both up and running and started "connecting" with people I knew. Pretty much since I never went out or did anything, my life started to consist a lot behind a computer screen (much like as it is now). It's funny to look back on how there was a counter that showed how many "friends" you had. The more you had, the cooler you were (and definitely the more better I felt about myself). I liked having people know me. It was a new thing I enjoyed and wanted more of... attention.

But I was still missing the good looks, the athletic talent, and the social connections, so I still was not able to get the girls and I still didn't have everyone talking about me. So then that whole *magic* thing decided to pop up into my life. And boy did that alter it. My wish for all of freshmen year was to become the most popular person ever and get all the girls and have a bunch of dudes as friends and go to all the rockin parties. Wish granted... well, the "most popular person" part. I didn't get the other things. The next three years of my life I became this person that EVERYONE knew and loved. People who I didn't know would be comin up to me asking to see something cool. Even people I knew would introduce their friends to me. By my senior year of high school I was definitely one of the most popular kids at school. Wish come true right?

The way I see it, YES! I had random people coming up to me who knew me, even when I was at public places... mothers in Wal-Mart asking me to see a magic trick because their kid had told them about me... I had become well known. I was happy. But because of this, there came some issues. Now that I had been "rollin with the high crowd" I got invited to the parties and all those "cool kids." It turns out, it is NOT what I thought.

I will never forget the first party I went to (this was mid-soph year, the start of the booming popularity). The whole drinking thing, is NOT what it turns out to be. That stuff has turned the greatest of people inside out. People I had always known as
straight-shooters turned into monsters with the help of some alchy-sauce. Everyone was crazy and people were throwing up and such. NOT cool. NOT what I thought. And behind all that, I knew it was 1.Illegal to consume alcohol underage and 2.My mommy told me not to. It was never really my scene to begin with so I was definitely an awkward situation. The next two-three years I ended up in multiple parties where I had stayed sober. I actually was super proud of being the kid that said that I was clean!! Woo!!! Great success. But the more I was at those parties, the more my mind started to change and it went from "nope ew no thanks" to "what if..." The ONLY thing that kept me going was my moral background. Right before the moment I would've broken down and taken a sippy sip of anything, the last and hardest wall to stop me was, "OH BY THE WAY, you're a Christian kid. Jesus would frown upon you." And with that, it kept me sober. SWEET.

Yeah sure there was the alcohol that I thought was "sooo cool." One thing though is the whole drug scene. I don't see how that is cool at all. Smells bad and you look super retarded. Health class has taught me well :-P. So that has never been and never will be a problem for me.

The things people will do these days to gain attention. Everytime I ask someone why they drink or do drugs or party, it has ALWAYS been the same answer: Because it's fun!

WHAT is fun about throwing up all over the place and having hangovers the next day?
WHAT is fun about DESTROYING your body with stupid substances?
WHAT is fun about having babies at 16?

I just never got that. I never understood what was fun about it all.

I had 22 kids in my high school prom group. At the after party, everyone but me was drunk. I was the only sober kid. FAIL. Taking care of everyone. NOT fun. Although hiding everyones keys was hahahaha.

It is just appalling to me what kids will do these days to be "cool." Luckily, I was able to find that way in something other than drugs and partying. It may not have been the most common way, but hey, I got my wish come true. Sometimes, it's GREAT wherever I am just walking and ten people say hi to me. I used to be the kid that no one knows and now people I don't know, know me. That works. Although, yes all this can get annoying, but like I said, my wish came true, and with that, there are consequences. Whenever I am hanging out with my friends, it does get annoying when random people, randomly come up to me bugging me for a magic trick. BY ALL MEANS, when I'm walking alone and whatever, sure I wouldn't mind showing one, but when I'm at the mall hanging out with friends, it can kinda get annoying (ESPECIALLY when I'm on a date at the mall). Solution, don't go to public places. I know why celebrities wear sunglasses and hats now. (I'm not a jerk and I'm not calling myself a celebrity, chill.)

I am thankful I did not end up as one of the popular kids that everyone talks about as being the hardcore partyer or the coolest druggie. I am very grateful for this other way that I have been able to get to know people and for people to get to know me. The whole magic thing went from "hey let me show off so people think I'm cool" to "wow this is an awesome tool to help me develop relationships." In the end, I realized, I can be "cool" and outgoing. I just needed to believe in myself that I can do it.

Let's just say I'm glad I won't end up as the 40 yr old guy who has no friends... at least I hope so!

The Elderly...

I hate the doctors. I hate getting shots and having thing stuffed up my nose. But I have had some serious allergies so I had to go see what they could do. New family doctor was super cool. Anyways, he gave me some drugs that should help, and since I had eaten lunch, getting my blood drawn was a no go. DARN. So disappointed.... OH WELL... Got my prescription and off I went to the pharmacy!

Handed them pharmacists my sheets and was told to wait about 10 minutes or so. As I did, I saw this elderly couple just chillin, probably waiting for their meds as well. We all know them elders have to have their drugs too!

But as I was people watching them it just reminded me of how this heart of mine for some strange reason just feels all different towards them. I don't know what it is about elderly people that strikes me so hardcore. It was an elderly man and woman who seemed to be at least in their 70s-80s. And who knows, they probably have been married for over 30-40 years or so. And at that age, as the gentleman that he still was, he assisted the love of his life up from her chair, got her coat and helped her put it on, and walked 5 feet to the counter, holding hands. They got their meds, and headed out of the place, still holding hands. Of course I was all "awww cute" and whatnot, but I just don't know what it is. That couple that I have never met and will probably never see again have shown me that the whole love thing is everlasting and that "special someone" we all wait for, will probably be just as beautiful as the day you met them.

Every time I see old people shuffling down the aisle at Wal-Mart, or driving in their little old Caddie, my heart does that thing that I can not explain. Haha sure this may seem kinda "gay" to some or whatever, but I'm serious when I say that my heart goes out to them. I've learned that I am an extrovert. I tend to care more about other people before myself. (Sometimes thats great, other times, it may not be) I just always feel so helpless for that old lady that has to go all the way from their comfy chair at home, drive a car and hope that they don't get killed in this world of crazy teenage drivers, and try to make it back home. What seems like a daily errand might be an adventure for them. Idk. Maybe I'm just bein too mushy and underestimating them. Some people I know make fun of old people. They sometimes yell at them if they happen to make a mistake on the road. C'mon now! Give 'em a break! They're wearing glasses as thick as bulletproof glass.

Again I feel like I'm just being too much of a softy or whatever you want to call it. But I'm just saying, I value the elders of this world. If you think about it, they are the most wisest people. It's crazy but they have lived far longer than you have. Sure they might not know about all the high tech gadgets and gizmos that us kids are runnin around these days, but they don't need it. Remember when the iPod came out? BOOM all us kids HAD to get one of those. I'm pretty sure when the slinky came out, BOOM, instant satisfaction. Too many of us underestimate the value of elderly people in the world. My grandparents must be the greatest heroes ever. I look up to them so much because boy have they been there done that.

Have you ever sat down with an old person? (And just to clarify when I say, "old" I'm talkin about the white haired, cane walkin, big glasses, at least 60+ yrs old) But anyways, every time I sit with someone's grandma or grandpa and I just hang out with them, I can tell that it's gonna be a great day when they can just pretty much pour out their life to you. Every Wednesday or so (when I have been able to) I have set out about an hour of my time of the day to sit down and just have conversation with one of the elders of our church. She's one of the young ones but shes def a grandma. I think it's the greatest thing ever when we bring up a subject and BAM she gets all excited and just starts rambling on and on and on about the craziest things ever. We can start talking about how nice of a day it is outside and before you know it, we are talking about how she got her driving lessons. Sure, this may NOT be on ANYONES to do list these days. I mean look at our society and how AWESOME the attention span is. Kids would rather watch a 2 hour movie rather than spend hours reading the full story in a book. I'm kinda hypocritical when I say this. But I am def a person who would watch a full out musical or play instead of just watching the movie. I am a person who would sit with an old person and find value and entertainment in having them just tell me their life story.

Leviticus 19:32 "Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God."

Even though they may sometimes be slow and not "all there", there is great value withing old people and their wisdom.

Homeless Bums

So I was walking around downtown today. Totally had a Chipotle gift card that I found in my room. Had $10 on it. BOOM. Free EPIC lunch. Sat there and enjoyed my steak-fajita-spicy-sour cream-lettuce burrito, also known as God's gift to Earth, or as I like to see it, to me. It was deeeelicious. As I walked down 16th I looked around and people watched (as I usually do when I walk around 16th) I saw people scavenging through trashcans looking for food. One even came up to me asking me for money and my selfish stupid butt could not give up a dollar or even a quarter. Why did I lie? I kept wanting to turn back and give the man my whole wallet.... But I just kept walking. I mean, we think about how far that dollar would go and where that guy would use it. Would he use it to buy drugs or alcohol?

I have a list of 100 things to do before I turn 20 and one of those is have lunch with a homeless person. Not just give them lunch, but have lunch with them. I've decided that I will find that guy I've turned down and have lunch with him.

It sucks that there are so many homeless people that daily go through trash cans to find food where here I am on a Monday night all fussy because I can't find a snack after I was blessed with 3 meals today. There was actually another time I was at Chipotle where I sat outside and after I was finished I threw my bag away (I was going to get it to go but instead sat oustside) and not 30 seconds later, a homeless guy walks up to the trashcan, pulls out the bag and sees if there is anything in there... Something just didn't feel right. But the whole food thing is not even half of it.

After these guys spend a whole day trying to find leftover food in trashcans, they have to prepare for the night. It's Colorado and the nights here are definitely not warm. I could not imagine how they for one go to bed on an empty stomach and two most likely will have to sleep outside, no blanket, no bed, in the cold. As I rode the light rail home, I could see that some have established encampments using cardboard boxes. You know those big trailers that 18-wheelers haul around? Well there was one that was parked near the side of the light rail tracks and a bunch of cardboard boxes were made into a small little house thing under the front two legs (if you know what I'm talkin about.) Oh yeah. Someone definitely sleeps there at night.

Its not just 40 yr old creeper dudes who haven't shaved that are homeless people. I saw a blind homeless lady. Didn't know how that worked. I just hope and pray she's doin ok. But what strikes me is that I recently learned of the large population of homeless teens. YES --> TEENS! That's people my age!

So there's this one kid (we will name his Chad) came. I've been told he's being helped by one of the other guys that go to church through a program thing for homeless teens. In other words, this kid WAS a homeless kid but is being helped. When I first met him I did not know. When was this? So every Saturday night I run a Saturday night service thing right? Been doin it for about 3 months. Well the first one I ever did was with no band, no sound system. Just me and a guitar. (Now I've got a full band and the whole shebang) BUT anyways. Back to Chad. He was there at the first one. Guy from church told him to come. I think he was livin at a halfway house or something. After I played a couple songs that night he came up afterwards introduced himself and said it was great. The next day I get a call from the guy from church and I was told that this kid was one of the laziest kids ever that he worked with, struggling to get a job and all, but yet when he got home after my Saturday night service thing, he called the guy from church and totally went off on how awesome he thought it was. This kid had to commute via public transportation to the church which was at least an hour from where he was. Took him more than an hour to get there, stayed 45 min-ish to watch some kid play some Jesus songs, then another hour to go back home.

Why did I just share this story? Because through 45 min of my lame guitar playing and my off key singing, I was able to somehow edify this guy. A used-to-be-homeless teen that's trying to get off his feet.

If I was able to do that with a guitar for one kid, what are the possibilities?

Within the next two weeks I will have reached the goal I set out to do that day after my first night service. For three months I have wanted to get together a band and go downtown and play music for homeless people and any others who are lost (in many ways I guess) and hopefully, I can somehow benefit them in possibly some spiritual way.

It's a calling. And therefore I will go. Just like IT says to do.

Until the whole world hears.... Mark 16:15

What's Up With This Blogging Thing?

So I decided to get a blogspot thing....

What to do now?! Haha I've always wanted to start one. Maybe now that I finally have, I can just put random stuff down. Maybe this will be a good place to just get it all out. Hmmmm. We will see how this goes....