I Want To Be Cool

Think about that one dude in high school that every girl thought was the greatest guy ever. This guy might have been super attractive, been a football jock, a hardcore partyer, or a combination of all of those things. This guy had all the girls going "oh my gosh he's so cute" and all the nerds saying "I wish we were like him."

When you have gone to Cherry Creek High school, you encounter a bunch of these guys running around, and where ever one of them is, you can spot ten girls going all ooh la la over him. And then his retarded buddies right behind him going "duuuude you ready for that party this weekend?!"

I will honestly say that for the longest time, I have aspired to want to be that guy. I was missing the good looks, and the athletic talent, and the social connections, sooo I did not start out too well haha. Middle school for me was just wake up, go to school, come home, do schoolwork, watch tv, and sleep pretty much everyday of my life. I did not have friends I could "hang out" with on the weekends. Then high school came by, and there were all these new people running around. I had a lot of the older kids in my freshman classes so I heard a lot of talk of "that party of over the weekend" and "who that girl slept with this weekend." What really got me was how much attention all these people were getting. This was definitely where I started to learn of that whole "popularity" concept. This was also the year that MySpace got all popular (then eventually Facebook). I got both up and running and started "connecting" with people I knew. Pretty much since I never went out or did anything, my life started to consist a lot behind a computer screen (much like as it is now). It's funny to look back on how there was a counter that showed how many "friends" you had. The more you had, the cooler you were (and definitely the more better I felt about myself). I liked having people know me. It was a new thing I enjoyed and wanted more of... attention.

But I was still missing the good looks, the athletic talent, and the social connections, so I still was not able to get the girls and I still didn't have everyone talking about me. So then that whole *magic* thing decided to pop up into my life. And boy did that alter it. My wish for all of freshmen year was to become the most popular person ever and get all the girls and have a bunch of dudes as friends and go to all the rockin parties. Wish granted... well, the "most popular person" part. I didn't get the other things. The next three years of my life I became this person that EVERYONE knew and loved. People who I didn't know would be comin up to me asking to see something cool. Even people I knew would introduce their friends to me. By my senior year of high school I was definitely one of the most popular kids at school. Wish come true right?

The way I see it, YES! I had random people coming up to me who knew me, even when I was at public places... mothers in Wal-Mart asking me to see a magic trick because their kid had told them about me... I had become well known. I was happy. But because of this, there came some issues. Now that I had been "rollin with the high crowd" I got invited to the parties and all those "cool kids." It turns out, it is NOT what I thought.

I will never forget the first party I went to (this was mid-soph year, the start of the booming popularity). The whole drinking thing, is NOT what it turns out to be. That stuff has turned the greatest of people inside out. People I had always known as
straight-shooters turned into monsters with the help of some alchy-sauce. Everyone was crazy and people were throwing up and such. NOT cool. NOT what I thought. And behind all that, I knew it was 1.Illegal to consume alcohol underage and 2.My mommy told me not to. It was never really my scene to begin with so I was definitely an awkward situation. The next two-three years I ended up in multiple parties where I had stayed sober. I actually was super proud of being the kid that said that I was clean!! Woo!!! Great success. But the more I was at those parties, the more my mind started to change and it went from "nope ew no thanks" to "what if..." The ONLY thing that kept me going was my moral background. Right before the moment I would've broken down and taken a sippy sip of anything, the last and hardest wall to stop me was, "OH BY THE WAY, you're a Christian kid. Jesus would frown upon you." And with that, it kept me sober. SWEET.

Yeah sure there was the alcohol that I thought was "sooo cool." One thing though is the whole drug scene. I don't see how that is cool at all. Smells bad and you look super retarded. Health class has taught me well :-P. So that has never been and never will be a problem for me.

The things people will do these days to gain attention. Everytime I ask someone why they drink or do drugs or party, it has ALWAYS been the same answer: Because it's fun!

WHAT is fun about throwing up all over the place and having hangovers the next day?
WHAT is fun about DESTROYING your body with stupid substances?
WHAT is fun about having babies at 16?

I just never got that. I never understood what was fun about it all.

I had 22 kids in my high school prom group. At the after party, everyone but me was drunk. I was the only sober kid. FAIL. Taking care of everyone. NOT fun. Although hiding everyones keys was hahahaha.

It is just appalling to me what kids will do these days to be "cool." Luckily, I was able to find that way in something other than drugs and partying. It may not have been the most common way, but hey, I got my wish come true. Sometimes, it's GREAT wherever I am just walking and ten people say hi to me. I used to be the kid that no one knows and now people I don't know, know me. That works. Although, yes all this can get annoying, but like I said, my wish came true, and with that, there are consequences. Whenever I am hanging out with my friends, it does get annoying when random people, randomly come up to me bugging me for a magic trick. BY ALL MEANS, when I'm walking alone and whatever, sure I wouldn't mind showing one, but when I'm at the mall hanging out with friends, it can kinda get annoying (ESPECIALLY when I'm on a date at the mall). Solution, don't go to public places. I know why celebrities wear sunglasses and hats now. (I'm not a jerk and I'm not calling myself a celebrity, chill.)

I am thankful I did not end up as one of the popular kids that everyone talks about as being the hardcore partyer or the coolest druggie. I am very grateful for this other way that I have been able to get to know people and for people to get to know me. The whole magic thing went from "hey let me show off so people think I'm cool" to "wow this is an awesome tool to help me develop relationships." In the end, I realized, I can be "cool" and outgoing. I just needed to believe in myself that I can do it.

Let's just say I'm glad I won't end up as the 40 yr old guy who has no friends... at least I hope so!