Thursday, October 6, 2011

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Apples changed the world. The one that seduced Adam and Eve, the one that woke up Newton and the apple planted by Steve Jobs. Thank you Mr. Steve Jobs for your mark on my life and on the lives of billions in this world. Because of you I am able to listen to the David Crowder Band wherever I go on my iPod video. Because of you I am able to carry the world wide web on my iPad. Because of you, I am just a wee bit jealous that my sister got a Macbook Pro. Because of you Amy and I will never be out of contact with her iPhone (and also find our way with the Maps app). Because of you I will always remember to go "to infinity and beyond" and to "just keep swimming." Because of you, I have a renewed hope that failure is only a part of success. You showed me what it means to never give up. May the Lord continue to bless your legacy.









'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says
This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.



Thursday, September 29, 2011

[Untitled Band Project] - Part 1

I seriously never thought I would ever be in one, let alone lead another one. But I guess God does not put things to waste... I got a crew together. And a VERY solid one. I am very excited at how much each and every person is serious about this project. I feel like they're more excited about it than I am! I was asked to lead a congregation in worship a couple months ago and just needed a one time crew to help. But my band mates who are also my very close friends thought it was a thing of God to be placed together. We prayed about it and every person agreed to see where God can take us.... This video is from our SECOND practice ever together...

 

Noooot badd!!! Just imagine what we will be doing in the practices to come... Already a solid set list of songs that we will master and also we are doing something I've wanted to do for a long time... ORIGINALS! Don't get me wrong the covers are super fun but originals are as well! Pray for us as we continue to go wherever God is leading us! 

Ps, It doesn't show in this video but last practice we did a little rearrangin and now I'm lead singer with a bass... Can you say Skillet offspring? :-P


(Band name in the works!)

More to come sooon!!!

Friday, July 22, 2011

"Oh My Dear" (Cover) - Tenth Avenue North





"Oh My Dear"
Tenth Avenue North

I called you up, you were in bed, could barely make out the words that you said
But you wanted to see me instead, so I got dressed
So I stepped out into the snow, and walked for a mile or so
Felt the rush of blood come from the cold, in my chest

Well, you finally came to the door, and we talked for an hour or more
Until I asked if you would stay up until four, and you said that's fine
But you said "theres something I have to say, and I can't because I am just so afraid"
And so I held you as you started to shake, that night.

Oh, my dear, I'll wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the guilt begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, ill keep you in my arms tonight

You slowly lifted your head from your hands
You said "I just don't think you'll understand
You'll never look at me that way again
If you knew what I did"

And so your tears fell and melted the snow
You told me secrets nobody had known
But I never loved you more, even though
Now I know what you did

Oh, my dear, ill wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Oh, my dear, ill wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the guilt begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, ill keep you in my arms tonight

Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the guilt begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, ill keep you in my arms tonight
I'll keep you in my arms tonight

Friday, July 8, 2011

"Stand In the Rain" (Cover) - SuperChick



Never give up.

"Stand in the Rain"
SuperChick

She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

Disappointed? I'm Sorry.

It has been 5 months since my last post. A lot has happened in that time. I wish I could share it all but I'd rather sit down and tell the story face to face with whoever is interested. The story is no where near over. It is just begun. A new chapter of life. No longer can I sit in the comforts I once lived in. Life is now real and I have decided to start living it the right way. My last blog post had me facing some heavy stuff. Today I am facing those things head on and somehow, I am still able to write this little piece of my mind.

The battle is not over. Im only halfway through yet I am so excited with how far I've been able to come. Surely, it was not alone. I am not glad what has happened, but I am glad that God has opened great opportunities for me to experience Him in amazing ways. I would not trade the past few months for anything. Yes, I would definitely have wanted to do things differently. At this point, it's not about could've/should've/would've. What's happened has happened and whats happening can't go away. I want to face this as a man and do what I need to do.

10 years from now when I and also other people look back on this situation, what will be said? Will I be the epic failure that did nothing and became a failure for the rest of his life? Or rather do I become the person that chose to face what he needed to? Do I let this situation define me or do I let God take full control? These questions have been answered even when I wasn't looking. I really have not understood why these events have happened the way the have. The more I try to figure, the more the Lord tells me to chillax. My prayer is that His Will be done, not mine or anyone else's.

For a long time I sat in great sorrow and depression over my sins. I pretty much sent myself to my own mental grave. With the events that occurred I ended up in a literal and figurative zone of confinement for a long time. Although I am not here to share about the interesting "adventure" that was but rather share of the amazing God that no one will ever be able to comprehend.

If it were up to some people, I should not be typing this note at this moment. I should not be able to walk around freely let alone in this country for that matter. That's what is "supposed" to happen. I'm "supposed" to be gone forever. But am I?

Let's think about this for a second. I believe in a God that does all things in His purpose according to hHis good and perfect will. I was told that as the event unfolded, whatever happens whether good or bad, it would have been for a reason. I am out when I shouldn't be. There is a reason. I can not tell you what that reason is at this moment. I just know that God has a greater purpose in the works. As I long as I trust Him, he says not to worry. Its been working out pretty good :-)

I would like to apologize to those people who wish that I was still locked up. All I want to do is Love on them and help the understand why it is that I am free. It's because the God of all things sent His Son from Heaven to Earth to make the payment for my sins. I shouldn't be locked up. I should be dead. I should be burning in hell for what I have. But then I get to experience a little something called GRACE. It really is an amazing thing. Not to be taken lightly of course. If all of this can be summed up it would into this: God makes all things beautiful, even the bad.

If people have already passed judgement and think that I'm just trying to slide by this situation easily and that I just want to get it over with, then I am sorry that you are mistaken. God Loves you. That's all I can say. And I am reminded that He Loves me too. Oh, how He Loves us all. It is a transforming Love. I am not the person I was three months ago. I have died to my selfish and sinful ways and have become alive to Christ Jesus. (Romans 6:11). The words I write will never come close to being able to show you who I am. I only pray we may get the opportunity to hang out so you can see for yourself!

There is still a long journey to go and I will continue to update the unknown readers every week from now on. I will not and literally cannot contain just how amazing God is and all the great things He is doing in my life. My heart shouts for joy and wants to proclaim His goodness to the world. I hope you continue reading...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Not A Bueno Start

Soooo it is ridiculously cold outside.









But I am thankful to be inside a warm home. That's pretty much it.

I made a decision to blog every Tuesday and Thursday, so if you are a reader of this blog (which should be all of 3 people) then definitely check back every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. It's 12:31am on Wednesday so this started off well. And I'm having trouble on finding what to write about. As I was rummaging through my thoughts there was one thing that kept getting in the way...

It's February 1st (or 2nd whatev) and therefore the first month of 2011 has gone by. And on the radio today the dude asked me how the month went. To be honest, not so hot. I had a lot of things planned and ready to go for the new year but right when it started, I hit the ground and definitely did not hit it running. It was a rough start. As far back as I can remember, I don't think I recall a worse time in my life. I could go down a list of bad things that are going on or that have happened this past month but it would not be any different than any other time in my life nor is it of any relevance. The year did not start off well and I have spent the whole month in a constant state of @#$%^&. (Translation: ???) I don't know what to say. I am really lost right now. And in a week I should be good... But until then, I have some things I need to take care of...

I have "fallen off the planet" a lot which a lot of people don't like. But, dear friends, please let me do this just for the rest of this weekend! I need to spend some quality time with you-know-who.

Solitude.

I'll be back next Tuesday and I'll let you know what's up.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Losing Myself In A Virtual Reality

If I'm not doing magic tricks or on the computer or playing music you can probably find me with a controller in my hand and shooting something at someone on the screen. That's right folks, by reading this blog you get an inside look behind the magic man and see who he really is. Before all the magic (and heck, before you could even say I had a life, that is if the one I have today counts) I was all about the video games.

I remember back all the way to 3rd grade when I got my gameboy. And what game was I playing? Pokemon of course. Everyone that was cool had pokemon.
Elementary school consisted of me with that small pocket sized gaming device in my hand. Whenever I would get in trouble my mom would take away my gameboy for like two or three days and lets just say I just felt like my life ended.

Middle school came around and the tv game consoles came. My friends and I would spend the night at each others houses pretty much almost every weekend and we would play till early hours of the morning. I definitely remember one time where we played Super Smash Bros. till about 4 in the morning... I'm pretty sure we started at like 4 pm the day earlier. Good times...

As time moved along more homework came, so my gaming had to be put aside... But did that stop me? Absolutely not. High school came with even more homework. But I still from time to time found myself playing until 1 or 2am on school nights. And I'm pretty sure it did not help that I had a tv in my room...

In high school I got my own computer and the introduction of online games. I'm pretty sure I spent a lot of time playing Counter Strike. Shooting game where you play against REAL live players on the internet. And you can talk to them and stuff. TOO much fun. Whenever I had homework that needed the use of a computer, you can imagine that I easily put that aside, hooked up my headset mic and started gaming for hours.

As high school went along and I gained new "interests" I gamed less and less. Although once a while on a weekend I would re play one of my old games. I guess it was also because my money went from video games to school and hanging with friends and stuff.

So what is it with these video games? Yes they are fun. But when you find yourself playing for hours and missing meals and stuff, thats not good. And it took me awhile to figure that out, but I did. And I'm glad I am not finding myself as a 30 year old dude who doesn't know what a girl is, has a non-existent social life, and finds himself in front of a screen for hours. No. That is not me. (Thank the Lord). But really, why get so crazy over them?

I think now that I look at it, I can only come down to this solution. I spent so much time on video games mostly because it was my escape. In video games, I could lose myself in the virtual reality where anything I wanted could happen. I was given a cool person who either had really cool guns or a fancy car or had cool superpowers, plus the free ability to move them however I want with the single push of a joystick or a button. In many of the games I play, I could run around and drive cars and fly planes, things that as a little boy I could never do. I would get so lost in the game that I lost track of time and some serious physical needs (aka food). Even when I wasn't playing all I could think about was when I could leave this boring world and go home and play
more games. Haha as I'm writing this I realize just how much of a gamer junkie I was! It was an addiction! And not a good one to have as a kid. Especially with the games I was playing. You've read or heard of those stories of kids who went and stole or probably seen those little boys you see jumping off the walls thinking they're a Power Ranger.

I'm not saying video games are bad. It's fun to play games! As
long as the game does not become the player's reality. It's always important to have that self control when it comes to playing video games. I finally can say that I am no longer addicted to video games. Thanks to having a social life and having other interests that does not involve me sitting in front of a screen. Sure time to time I still love playing games. There's always fun ones coming out! Sure I wait a year for the prices to go down but its still fun for me. I am always down for playing a round in Call of Duty (BOOM! Headshot!) or kickin someone's butt in Super Smash Bros. (Falcon PUNCH!)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Do the Dew


Mountain Dew. The drink of champions. Or should I say, failures. It seriously has become an addiction! I think I have legit Mountain Dew withdrawals. Nooo bueno. Ever since the introduction of vending machines in high school, I have been going crazy on caffeine. One a day. Def not good. It eventually go to the point of not just one a day. It became two... then three.... Then yesterday I found myself downing 4 of them in one day! SO bad. ARGH.

The fact (or should I say RUMOR) that Mountain Dew helps decrease my chances of having children in the future is not something that makes some people happy. But dear friends, it is just a rumor!

"In the late 1990's, a new rumor about Mountain Dew began circulating around. At times, it still rears its head today. Unlike the "caffeine rumor", this rumor specifically targeted the male population. It probably even stopped some younger guys from drinking the popular soft drink. This rumor stated that drinking Mountain lowered a man's sperm count. Not only that, but drink Mountain Dew and you'll notice your male appendage growing smaller in size.

The alleged culprit is a chemical known as Yellow 5. It's also known as Tartrazine. Supposedly, Mountain Dew contains a large amount of this dye. That's why it was targeted. The truth of the matter is that this dye has been used since 1916. You can find it in Mountain Dew, soups, candy, jelly, macaroni and cheese box mixes, mustard, Kool-Aid and a host of other prepackaged products. According to the Food and Drug Administration, Yellow 5 is safe for consumers.


However, a little known fact about Mountain Dew Soft Drink is, if your sensitive to Tartrazine, you may have an allergic reaction to it. I think the number is 0.12% of the American population is thought to be sensitive to this chemical.

In children particularly, Yellow 5 is attributed to problems with hyperactivity and ADHD."

I don't think I am sensitive to Tartrazine. But some of you who hang with me would probably laugh at the last part of that nice shpeel about Yellow 5. ANYWAYS, I know it's a HORRIBLE thing to be putting into my body, let alone more than once DAILY.

Slowly but surely (and with the help of others) I will be decreasing my intake of this delicious, yet harmful drink.

I want to live till 100!


"Mountain Dew" by KJ-52


Well hello everybody,
Welcome to MDA, that’s Mountain Dew Anonymous, for those who have
abuse problems with mountain dew. We have a new member today his name is KJ-52.
KJ why don’t you introduce yourself (Hi KJ).
My Name is KJ-52 and I’m addicted to Mountain dew.
Tell the people a little bit about what happened.

Ohh what am I gonna do,
I’m addicted to mountain Dew,
When I drink just one to two
These people say “what’s wrong with you man?”
I start acting like fool,
from all the caffeine and the sugar too.
I’m feeling like I aint got a clue.
And it’s just what I’m gonna say to you,

(Chorus)
Uh gimme dat Mountain Dew,
Uh gimme dat Mountain Dew,
Uh gimme dat Mountain Dew,
I aint playin with you,
You better gimme my Mountain dew!

(Repeat)

Well KJ I know that must be tough to talk about (it is, it’s hard)
But part of recovery is talking about how it starts,
Explain how this started.

Well it started while I was on tour,
I had to stay awake, I went to the store
Then I loaded up and I bought like four
And I just kept taking more and more

All of a sudden it happened to me,
Just for some reason I couldn’t fall asleep.
Maybe it was the sugar and the caffeine
Not sure, but I started to scream

(Repeat Chorus)

Well KJ I know that was painful to talk about, (it was painful, I’m sorry)
But you know you can over come this addiction.
(I can?)
You just have to admit that you have a problem.

I’ve got a problem I just can’t help it,
Somebody help I think I’m addicted,
Every day I gotta just have it,
I can’t help it it’s just a habit,
I’ve got a problem, I get it
I’m an addict I’ll admit it
And I promise I’m gonna quit it
Hey, that Mountain Dew over there, anybody gonna finish it?

KJ you need to put the mountain dew down, (‘couz I’m sayin’ if you aint gonna finish it)
KJ I, you need, back away from the Mountain Dew (I’ll, I’ll take it)
KJ BACK AWAY FROM THE MOUNTAIN DEW NOW, MAN I AINT PLAYIN’ WITH YOU, MAN!! (all right)

(repeat chorus)

Sorry I don’t now what came over me,
Uh, sorry

You didn’t have to hit me.

Monday, January 24, 2011

New Year. New Me?


Wowww.

Soooo.... before the start of the new year, I had planned to write one blog a week. It's week 4 of the month and I am just starting. Fail. Let's just say these past 4 weeks have been rough as I did not start the new year as good as it could have been. Nooo fun. Maybe soon I will share about what happened.

I didn't begin my "one blog a week" thing too well, but better late than never!

I think it's funny when people make "new years resolutions" and get all excited about it and say they will go through with it but find themselves 3 weeks later giving up on it. I can't say I haven't done this before because of course I have. My 2010 "new year's resolution" was to eat healthier. Reasons why this failed: Too general. Not original. No accountability. Yeahhhh soo much for that. I found myself making fast food runs like no other. THEN I decided to find myself an addiction. Mountain Dew. My addiction with Mountain Dew Don't even worry. My friend is going to help me through the 12 steps of addiction to help cure this madness! But anyways! This year, I decided to not do a "new year's resolution." I pretty much just decided that the whole concept is dumb. Why wait to make improvements or changes or whatever until the beginning of the next new year. Why not do it immediately.

I don't have a resolution to make this year. I realized that if I make a goal and I put it off until a future date, I end up getting lazy and losing focus of it and therefore, goal failed. No bueno. If there is something that needs to happen, I try my hardest to place it into immediate effect. This concept in itself is rather a huge hypocritical statement in itself. I'm still struggling to place it into effect but I am trying!

I say this because the beginning of this year was a rough start for me. My world got knocked upside down which threw me for a loop. The past 3 weeks or so I have slowly but surely moved forward. Let's just say this. God pointed the big finger of conviction and told me to grow up.

I am no longer a kid. In less than a month and a half, I will no longer be a "teen." Time is moving forward I am becoming a person with more responsibilities. An "adult." For too long I've messed around not taking things as seriously as I should have.

A week after the new year I was hesitant to go on a weekend church retreat with the college group. After a rough start to the beginning of the year, I just wanted to crawl in a hole and hide forever. That did not help motivate me to go on this retreat along with the fact that only 6 kids from the college crew were going, 5 being dudes. The 1 other decided not to go, so therefore it would just be us 6 guys. Awesome. I wasn't feeling it. Not one single bit. But I went anyways.

Let's just say I did not go on a normal church retreat. The first night, the Spirit moved in all 5 of us guys and we pretty much ripped off all our scabs and wounds. All of them. Our pastor did not plan for any of it.

"Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me."
Job 38:3 NIV.

I like the other translation of this verse.

"Gird up now thy loins like a man"



God meant business. I thought life was good and all. No. He needed to kick me in the you-know-whats to wake me up and tell me that I need to start getting down to business. His business, not mine. Who was I to think that I knew what God was doing? Who was I to think that life is good and that I should just keep living it with smiles? The whole weekend pretty much was a process of me ripping off my wounds and moving forward. I'm glad I was able to get away in the middle of nowhere because there, I was able to just be fully in the presence of God. No distractions. No noise. I was able to be still, and know that He Is God.

If I want to live out the true meaning of love as laid out in 1 Corinthians 13, I need to do just as it says. The time is now for me to put childish ways behind me and become a man. But I don't want to just "be a man." Being a man is more than "being swift as a coursing river... having the force of a great typhoon... having the strength of a raging fire... being mysterious as the dark side of the moon...." (Who knows what that's from!??! Muahahaha bonus points if you do!) ANYWAYS, haha.

In all seriousness, I do not just want to be a man. I want to be a man of God. What does that mean? I don't fully know yet. But I know that I want to be a man of God, FOR God. I want to live out His will and I want to be used for His glory. And I don't plan to do that next year or when I turn 21 or whatever. I began this plan on that weekend retreat. I don't know all the answer nor am I close to what I want to be. But I want the world to know that I'm all serious about the business of God. And I don't plan to tell them. Instead, I will show them.

Not only do I want to show the world what this whole "Man of God" thing is, but BE a "Man of God". I want to be the strongest man for whomever God places in my life especially spiritually because that will be the thing that keeps us solid.

Enough talk. I'm going to stop telling you, and start showing you. Man of action. Man of God.