Where Do I Go When I Am Down? Where Is Safe?

Where can I go?

Where can I run

From You

You're everywhere

You know all my thoughts

You see through my ways

And still You come to me.

Everyone has problem. Everyone has issues. Every day is a new challenge and the emotional roller coaster that is life will always have its ups and downs. I, and I'm sure other's as well, have noticed when I am at the downs of my life. You can say I "shut out the world" or get all "moody or whatever." And sure, it's true. Which is why I back off from the world. There's no need for me to be all pouty and sad face looking in front of everyone. One thing I hate is putting on a fake smile. I also think it's dumb when other people do that. Well, at least people close to me. Don't think you fool me with your smile. If you're my friend and you've got a problem and you trust me, then let's remove that fake smile and talk about it. Oh wait, are you reading this saying that I do the same thing? Well if you agree, then you are probably right.

Sure I do it sometimes or most of the times. But I must say that I am very grateful to have a place where I can retreat to and just have some Josh time. Just like everyone else's, my life is filled with its ups and downs. I used to think my problems and issues that I deal with are bigger or worse than others and that people should have more sympathy for me. FALSE. There are millions of other people with worse issues. Therefore, I am grateful.

Over the past couple of years, I have been able to deal with the situations in my life better than before. Everyday there is always something that comes up. And there are many times where all those small things build up and I just freak out. Those points cause me to "shut out" and disappear for a bit. This is not me "bottling up" my emotions. Instead, it is my way of releasing all the stress and afterwards getting back in the game. 4 things. Best friend. Music. Girl that is friend. God. Any one or more of those things automatically resets my mind and all the problems go away. Simple as that. I am very thankful for all of them.

Whenever I just need to vent on anything (and literally ANYTHING) I go to my friend. She is in college but thanks to the magic of instant communication (aka text and Skype) she's just a couple of buttons away.

Many people may use music as their stress reliever because of how it sounds to their ears, but to me, I find enjoyment and peace by using it to worship the Lord. All I need is a guitar and my basement (or other place of seclusion) and I am off belting at the top of my lungs for God. Always good times.

Of all the other things, God has been and always will be the number one cure to all my problems. I, just like everyone else, used to be mad at God and keep asking Him questions as to why things the way they are. But now, whenever something bad comes up, I just thank Him for the challenge and ask Him to guide me through it. After all, everything happens for a reason and if God puts you to it, He will put you through it.

Last but definitely not least is the girl I love. I wish I could explain what or how or why she is amongst the other three things but I can't. I could say that every time I see her, "the whole world stops and stares for awhile" (as Bruno Mars says). It could be those times we simply get to sit next to each other, I feel like I no longer alone. Or when if feels like the whole world fits inside of my arms whenever I hug her. Or maybe it's those two seconds in the day where we get to tell each other how we feel just with three simple words. Those two seconds and three words that just make everything better.

Sadly, I'm not one of those people that keeps a journal where I can just write it all out. And it's a bummer I'm not talented enough to turn any of my expressions into songs. Heck, the closest thing I have to a journal is this blog. And 1 maybe 2 people read it. I guess you can say this is another place I can get stuff out. But it's a bummer because I realize I can't always get everything out that I want to... Hmm maybe I will just write some of the 'deep personal stuff' elsewhere...

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be

Thank You Lord for my best friend, for the girl that you have put into my life whom I love, for the opportunity to praise You, and for being the Father up above that Loves me so much.